It's interesting that you compared this to bow, because both are stories which are lush with description and yet very spare in their surroundings and storyline.
The rhythm really works; it gives it a sense of time and setting without intruding on the flow of the events. Different places run at different mental speeds, and you captured that.
This reminded me a lot of Badlands -- the tiny, everyday details of the world arround them given such a close-in focus by the storytelling that even the beautiful things feel oppressive in their weight.
And I love the way you fit them all together. The story wouldn't be the story it is with any other characters, or with any of these missing, because it's completely reliant on elements each of the three bring to the dynamic. But you know this, 'cos you wrote it.
You write beautifully. Dream-like. Which worked really well being in River's voice and whatnot. I speak english good uh huh but, omg yes, it's the good crack.
Aw, Cap'n. He so sleepy. I must find a place for him. Curse this 50 icon limit! Between sleepy Cap'n and this here post (http://www.livejournal.com/community/serenitysummer/13259.html?#cutid1), i'm going to burst my icon slots with Firefly.
Can't think of an appropriate quote, unfortunately. All those i've looked at from Out of Gas are too long, bah. *stares more.. to.. think*
i almost didn't comment at all on this, because somewhere in my brain i reasoned that if i didn't acknowledge it, it wouldn't have to be true. :( which is really stupid because hello, fanfiction, but still. the tension was just right, and their desperation was so tangible, and the end made me so sad. mal has to come back for them, right?
That's because I'm horrible-horrible about actually leaving feedback. *so embarrassed* But I do love to share once I've found fic I like. :D And boy-howdy do I love this one!
hee! well thanks for poking your head in. i really do appreciate it. the majority of feedback for this fic has been deafening silence, which is... weird, as i kinda like the way it turned out myself.
anyway! in other words: thanks for feedbacking, and thanks for the rec! i'm glad you like it :D
Your welcome, thank you for posting and sharing this gem with the rest of us.
I always try to tell people I don't know how I got to their journal, it makes me look less stalkerish and they can see that someone else liked it enough to pimp all at the same time. Both good things. :-D
It's sad that the feedback has been silence because...Guh!
Um...was this fic the feeding a particularly rabid bunny (and not likely to be repeated) or is there a possibility you'll be writing more with these three?
Because if it's encouragement and fangirlish squee that gets you going I'm totally up for it. *blushes*
i'm working on more fic at the moment. and am totally in love with this trio, so pretty much anything i work on is going to have something to do with them :D
This has a really nice reading rhythm to it. I get a great mental image of the place they are in when I read it. Also, is it just me, or did Simon find some of Serenity's crew when he went to go and look? I got the feeling he had seen people he didn't want to see, and that Jayne (in some kind of bizarre recognition of people have feelings) had covered this up. Maybe I am cracked. But I liked the uncertainty of this part.
thanks for the feedback! i am quite fond of this story's universe myself, in a weird fixated kinda way, so i'm always fascinated to hear what others think.
is it just me, or did Simon find some of Serenity's crew when he went to go and look? I got the feeling he had seen people he didn't want to see, and that Jayne (in some kind of bizarre recognition of people have feelings) had covered this up.
that hadn't been my intention - my original thoughts were that they just Alliance. though jayne's kind of bizarre recognition fitted in with that too :D though that thought works as well... i don't know, i feel that simon would be more touched at jayne's killing off alliance people, whereas maybe not so much if they were crew, what with a doctor around and all. if that makes sense.
it makes sense in my head!! uncertainty definitely works too :)
my original thoughts were that they just Alliance. though jayne's kind of bizarre recognition fitted in with that too :D though that thought works as well... i don't know, i feel that simon would be more touched at jayne's killing off alliance people, whereas maybe not so much if they were crew, what with a doctor around and all. if that makes sense.
Oh, oh, that does make sense! Right. I was thinking that Simon had seen some of the crew dead, and not that Jayne had killed them, but that they'd been tortured and then killed by the bad guys. And so Jayne was covering up that some of the crew were dead, and tortured first. Apparently I have trouble reading or something! Must not read fic after long day of work.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
The rhythm really works; it gives it a sense of time and setting without intruding on the flow of the events. Different places run at different mental speeds, and you captured that.
This reminded me a lot of Badlands -- the tiny, everyday details of the world arround them given such a close-in focus by the storytelling that even the beautiful things feel oppressive in their weight.
And I love the way you fit them all together. The story wouldn't be the story it is with any other characters, or with any of these missing, because it's completely reliant on elements each of the three bring to the dynamic. But you know this, 'cos you wrote it.
no subject
write more plz.
no subject
have i mentioned that i heart this three? i probably don't have to ;)
no subject
YOU write more!
no subject
no subject
any ideas/requests?
no subject
Aw, Cap'n. He so sleepy. I must find a place for him. Curse this 50 icon limit! Between sleepy Cap'n and this here post (http://www.livejournal.com/community/serenitysummer/13259.html?#cutid1), i'm going to burst my icon slots with Firefly.
Can't think of an appropriate quote, unfortunately. All those i've looked at from Out of Gas are too long, bah. *stares more.. to.. think*
no subject
no subject
Thankyou, ma'am :)
no subject
anyway, i'm crazy. but really, great work. :)
no subject
thankyou for commenting!
no subject
btw, came over from
crack sharingpimping.no subject
thanks also for letting me know where you'd come from - i didn't know this got a rec!
no subject
no subject
anyway! in other words: thanks for feedbacking, and thanks for the rec! i'm glad you like it :D
no subject
I always try to tell people I don't know how I got to their journal, it makes me look less stalkerish and they can see that someone else liked it enough to pimp all at the same time. Both good things. :-D
no subject
Um...was this fic the feeding a particularly rabid bunny (and not likely to be repeated) or is there a possibility you'll be writing more with these three?
Because if it's encouragement and fangirlish squee that gets you going I'm totally up for it. *blushes*
no subject
no subject
no subject
is it just me, or did Simon find some of Serenity's crew when he went to go and look? I got the feeling he had seen people he didn't want to see, and that Jayne (in some kind of bizarre recognition of people have feelings) had covered this up.
that hadn't been my intention - my original thoughts were that they just Alliance. though jayne's kind of bizarre recognition fitted in with that too :D though that thought works as well... i don't know, i feel that simon would be more touched at jayne's killing off alliance people, whereas maybe not so much if they were crew, what with a doctor around and all. if that makes sense.
it makes sense in my head!! uncertainty definitely works too :)
no subject
Oh, oh, that does make sense! Right. I was thinking that Simon had seen some of the crew dead, and not that Jayne had killed them, but that they'd been tortured and then killed by the bad guys. And so Jayne was covering up that some of the crew were dead, and tortured first. Apparently I have trouble reading or something! Must not read fic after long day of work.
no subject
no subject