This is fantastic. I love your use of language. The melody of your first sentence got me right away, drawing me in. The sentence I love most for some reason is this one: The smell of Elijah's post-sex cigarette still hovers spitefully over the bed like a carpet-snake curled around the beams, and once Viggo shakes off the concern that his feet will sink right through the floor if he stands, he gets up to open a window.
Sentences like this turn me into a puddle of pretty happy goo because, really, that's as good as it gets.
writing has been feeling far too forced and awkward for me lately, and i'm never sure if what i've written works or not. and language is something hugely important to me, which may or may not be obvious ;)
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The smell of Elijah's post-sex cigarette still hovers spitefully over the bed like a carpet-snake curled around the beams, and once Viggo shakes off the concern that his feet will sink right through the floor if he stands, he gets up to open a window.
Sentences like this turn me into a puddle of pretty happy goo because, really, that's as good as it gets.
♥
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writing has been feeling far too forced and awkward for me lately, and i'm never sure if what i've written works or not. and language is something hugely important to me, which may or may not be obvious ;)
heart right back atcha!