I thought this was a really interesting post - I don't usually read these, so forgive me if I'm saying things that have been said before, but there were a couple of points I wanted to discuss.
Arthur - See: 2.08, Sins of the Father. Arthur is so close to finding out the truth, but Merlin lies instead and his excuse is that if Arthur follows through on having a traumatic altercation with his father, this will IRREVOCABLY DAMAGE him and render him an unsuitable king. - I actually think this is true. It wouldn't be a 'traumatic altercation' - Arthur would have killed Uther. Arthur would have killed Uther in that scene if Merlin hadn't intervened, and it is that act of patricide/regicide and the fallout (both Arthur's personal emotional fallout and the political fallout) from that which would make Arthur an unsuitable king. He would have to be arrested, his right to rule would have to be questioned after he has openly and publically murdered his father, and Arthur actually loves his father. If Arthur took the throne after committing regicide, it would hardly be as the golden king who is going to unite all Albion. I think Merlin had to intervene for Arthur's sake, even though it's actually against his own interests. (ooh, what do you think about 'To Kill A King' in season 1 where Merlin decides that he can't let Morgana kill Uther and goes after her? [Morgana had already decided that she couldn't go through with it so the fact that Merlin was too late didn't matter])
Even while he treats other (male) sorcerers he doesn’t even know (see: Gilli) with empathy, he never questions Gaius’ suggestion that they keep things from Morgana at all costs, even while seeing her suffer. The problem I have with that is that it's demonstrably not true - he suggests that they ought to tell her in 'the gates of avalon' and in 'the nightmare begins' (s2ep3) he tells Gaius that they ought to tell her, and in a later, second conversation, says that they ought to tell her because he couldn't have survived being alone with his magic without support, and Morgana has no support. Gaius just says 'it's different for you' and doesn't deal with that. But Merlin makes the decision to send Morgana to the druids - he makes it as clear to Morgana as possible that he's on her side, disregarding the dragon's instruction not to intervene, and Gaius's instruction not to tell her. It's only when Uther is clearly going to kill everyone until he gets Morgana back that Merlin realises he's made a mistake and has to go after her. He's too afraid to tell her that he too has magic, but within that constraint he does his best to help (it's just...it's Merlin's best and Merlin has absolutely zero ability to predict the logical consequences of any of his actions).
(Discussing this with my sister, and as you've mentioned Gilli - she suggests that the problem with telling Morgana about his magic is that Morgana has Uther's ear, and if she said Merlin was a magic-user he'd be on the pyre before you could blink. If Gilli said Merlin was a magic-user...who would believe him? There might be an investigation but Merlin would very probably be able to wriggle out of it as Arthur's loyal and trusted servant, especially as some sort of magical prop would be likely to turn up in Gilli's room...)
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Arthur - See: 2.08, Sins of the Father. Arthur is so close to finding out the truth, but Merlin lies instead and his excuse is that if Arthur follows through on having a traumatic altercation with his father, this will IRREVOCABLY DAMAGE him and render him an unsuitable king. - I actually think this is true. It wouldn't be a 'traumatic altercation' - Arthur would have killed Uther. Arthur would have killed Uther in that scene if Merlin hadn't intervened, and it is that act of patricide/regicide and the fallout (both Arthur's personal emotional fallout and the political fallout) from that which would make Arthur an unsuitable king. He would have to be arrested, his right to rule would have to be questioned after he has openly and publically murdered his father, and Arthur actually loves his father. If Arthur took the throne after committing regicide, it would hardly be as the golden king who is going to unite all Albion. I think Merlin had to intervene for Arthur's sake, even though it's actually against his own interests. (ooh, what do you think about 'To Kill A King' in season 1 where Merlin decides that he can't let Morgana kill Uther and goes after her? [Morgana had already decided that she couldn't go through with it so the fact that Merlin was too late didn't matter])
Even while he treats other (male) sorcerers he doesn’t even know (see: Gilli) with empathy, he never questions Gaius’ suggestion that they keep things from Morgana at all costs, even while seeing her suffer.
The problem I have with that is that it's demonstrably not true - he suggests that they ought to tell her in 'the gates of avalon' and in 'the nightmare begins' (s2ep3) he tells Gaius that they ought to tell her, and in a later, second conversation, says that they ought to tell her because he couldn't have survived being alone with his magic without support, and Morgana has no support. Gaius just says 'it's different for you' and doesn't deal with that.
But Merlin makes the decision to send Morgana to the druids - he makes it as clear to Morgana as possible that he's on her side, disregarding the dragon's instruction not to intervene, and Gaius's instruction not to tell her. It's only when Uther is clearly going to kill everyone until he gets Morgana back that Merlin realises he's made a mistake and has to go after her. He's too afraid to tell her that he too has magic, but within that constraint he does his best to help (it's just...it's Merlin's best and Merlin has absolutely zero ability to predict the logical consequences of any of his actions).
(Discussing this with my sister, and as you've mentioned Gilli - she suggests that the problem with telling Morgana about his magic is that Morgana has Uther's ear, and if she said Merlin was a magic-user he'd be on the pyre before you could blink. If Gilli said Merlin was a magic-user...who would believe him? There might be an investigation but Merlin would very probably be able to wriggle out of it as Arthur's loyal and trusted servant, especially as some sort of magical prop would be likely to turn up in Gilli's room...)