Terribly sorry to hear about the scottish plaid bondage pants. But on the brighter side...my beloved Rufus Wainwright is performing in Melbourne tonight and tomorrow night. If I were there, I'd drag you along and we'd go to his concert, even though I have no idea if you like Rufus or not. It wouldn't matter. You would be swept away by my enthusiasm. And afterwards we would go drink lovely drinks and compose slash. And then I would cram you into my backpack, smuggle you onto the plane, and bring you back for an encore tour of the U.S. and Canada. At which point, your housemates would be missing you so badly and would be rather upset to have you gone again so soon, that they would send you a ticket to get back home. And we would all live happily ever after.