Hence I argued that the tension between these two ethics is fought out in Sam, who ultimately chooses the ethic of care (as well he should!).

that's brainy. i love that. very true.

but don't you think there should be a balance between the two? what is civilization but the balance between abstract masculine notions like justice, and the feminine glue of family and home?

and i don't mean that literally, that either of those qualities are exclusive to men or women -- but that they work together to form a whole. john is wonderful, because he carries the fire; dean is wonderful, because his whole world centers around love. i'm not sure sam has definitely chosen one side -- and, as you said earlier, as well he should.