Now I really liked this and the main reason might sound a bit silly...but it's *so* nice to read something that used dialogue so sparely. Really, it's something I appreciate, so thanks for writing.
I'm late to the party, but I'll make up for it with the adoration. This is fantastic. Let me count the ways:
1. The Tams-go home premise just begged to be written, and you executed it wonderfully, from the strained interactions between children and parents to sketching in the details of Simon & River's life before it fell apart. The descriptions of the house and Simon's room spoke volumes.
2. The Mal/Simon/River character dynamics are wonderful. I like the shift in knowledge/power between Mal and Simon once they're on his home territory and seeing Mal discombobulated.
3. Each character is wonderfully drawn. River is a hoot. Simon is ... so quintessentially Simon-y, in all his stuck-up and self-sacrificing glory. And Mal -- there's something so fundamentally lost about Mal, even post-movie, that you capture so well.
4. The ending twist. Unexpected and yet exactly in character. I love stories that reverse the power dynamic between Mal and Simon, and I am especially love stories that let Simon earn some kind of victory after the nuclear test site fate/the Alliance made of his life.
Thankyou so much for the wonderful feedback! and late to the party, pish! the door is always open for people who can shower me with praise ;D
thankyou for identifying a whole bunch of things i was trying in particular to write about. this is my first mal/simon but i have quite a thing for their power dynamic - i'm really very glad, beyond words, that that came out in this story.
thankyou again :) feel free to friend, of course!!
Well, thank *you* for writing the story. I'm amazed you were able to put some many different things into one story and still have them fit to together.
I too think the dynamics between Mal and Simon are fascinating, so I'm really glad you were able to explore them in this story.
Though my internet time is kind of spotty these days, I'm looking forward to reading what you have to say, in fic and otherwise.
Hey now that was really nice. I love Mal's voice, his wording & his rhythms. And I'm a huge fan of the Tams. I love River in this, and I love the end because that's so very very Firefly to NOT explain what's going on. Heh. And also, of course Kaylee & Simon break up. She'd never put up with him for long. This was beautifully put together :)
So I haven't been cruising lj so much beyond my immediate flist lately, and I can't believe I missed this, for which I am devoutly sorry, because OMG I LOVE IT SO MUCH and I cannot believe it was written for me. *feels so lucky*
I'd pull out quotes, but the whole thing is just so yay, and also it is very late at night here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, this is just perfect!
I stumbled across this while trolling through the backlogs of the_pretty_fits, and I really, really enjoyed it. I was actually just re-watching Safe today, and thinking that if they'd continued the series, we probably would have seen Simon's parents come back into the picture. That said, I was pretty excited when I saw where you were going with this. :)
I'm a big fan of your characterizations - Simon and River's especially - and I also liked that you didn't try to colloquialize (is that even a word?) your writing too much. Too many authors in this 'verse try to force a way of speaking that they aren't familiar with, which makes things go kind of jerky and uncomfortable.
I really, really adored your closing line:
Should know by now that there ain’t nothing he ever does for himself anyway.
Thankyou so much for the feedback! I know what you mean about the colloquialisation... it's a fine line to walk ;D
thanks for the complements on characterisations as well... this is my first (only) Mal/Simon, so it required a bit of a shift in my usual characterising construction. so i'm very glad it worked for you.
“Your father believes what he has to believe. If it wasn’t for him, none of this would be here. Your sister wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t be here.”
Simon ducks his head for a moment, looks up again. “I would be here,” he says.
Did I read that right or did Simon just admit to being the product of an affair?
I really liked this, It's certainly spot on with Simon's characterization. I hope you eventually write more Mal/Simon. And can I say that River was just the perfect slightly bratty little sister in this? *snicker*
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thankyou for the feedback!
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Also River's "Yuck!" made me laugh.
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thanks for the feedback!
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1. The Tams-go home premise just begged to be written, and you executed it wonderfully, from the strained interactions between children and parents to sketching in the details of Simon & River's life before it fell apart. The descriptions of the house and Simon's room spoke volumes.
2. The Mal/Simon/River character dynamics are wonderful. I like the shift in knowledge/power between Mal and Simon once they're on his home territory and seeing Mal discombobulated.
3. Each character is wonderfully drawn. River is a hoot. Simon is ... so quintessentially Simon-y, in all his stuck-up and self-sacrificing glory. And Mal -- there's something so fundamentally lost about Mal, even post-movie, that you capture so well.
4. The ending twist. Unexpected and yet exactly in character. I love stories that reverse the power dynamic between Mal and Simon, and I am especially love stories that let Simon earn some kind of victory after the nuclear test site fate/the Alliance made of his life.
Thanks so much for this story.
P.S. Mind if I friend?
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thankyou for identifying a whole bunch of things i was trying in particular to write about. this is my first mal/simon but i have quite a thing for their power dynamic - i'm really very glad, beyond words, that that came out in this story.
thankyou again :) feel free to friend, of course!!
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I too think the dynamics between Mal and Simon are fascinating, so I'm really glad you were able to explore them in this story.
Though my internet time is kind of spotty these days, I'm looking forward to reading what you have to say, in fic and otherwise.
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thanks so much :) :) :)
ZOMG
I'd pull out quotes, but the whole thing is just so yay, and also it is very late at night here. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU, this is just perfect!
Re: ZOMG
so glad to see you hear - I was a bit worried that i'd done horribly!
I am extremely glad you like it :) thankyou so much for commenting.
Re: ZOMG
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I'm a big fan of your characterizations - Simon and River's especially - and I also liked that you didn't try to colloquialize (is that even a word?) your writing too much. Too many authors in this 'verse try to force a way of speaking that they aren't familiar with, which makes things go kind of jerky and uncomfortable.
I really, really adored your closing line:
Should know by now that there ain’t nothing he ever does for himself anyway.
Ring of truth in that, for sure.
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Thankyou so much for the feedback! I know what you mean about the colloquialisation... it's a fine line to walk ;D
thanks for the complements on characterisations as well... this is my first (only) Mal/Simon, so it required a bit of a shift in my usual characterising construction. so i'm very glad it worked for you.
:)
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Simon ducks his head for a moment, looks up again. “I would be here,” he says.
Did I read that right or did Simon just admit to being the product of an affair?
I really liked this, It's certainly spot on with Simon's characterization. I hope you eventually write more Mal/Simon. And can I say that River was just the perfect slightly bratty little sister in this? *snicker*