[identity profile] ash48.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 12:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh that was perfect. I loved those last two lines particularly. Thank you.

[identity profile] maharetr.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
Sammy screws his face shut, and they dip him under.

Awww, this is fabulous in a quiet, very realistic way, if that makes any sense. As always, I love the little physical details: Dean's toes brushing John's shins, the description of Sammy's tan, even down to the non-colour of his undies.

“You get drownded in the bath all the time,” he reasons. Onya, John.

Having been swimming in many a grotto and murky river, I totally get Sammy's freaked out-ness here, beyond the not yet knowing how to swim, because they were often freezing and the bottom was slimy...

Lovely, lovely, lovely.
innie_darling: (dean has bottomless eyes)

[personal profile] innie_darling 2007-02-19 01:03 pm (UTC)(link)
This is just perfect. Every detail was simply right on.

The boys are already barefoot, had hopped across the wavering tarmac hooting and yipping, and now they move through the scant undergrowth like little fawn-footed creatures, long legs and youth-thin limbs, stepping carefully and keeping their eye on him.

His grey, over-washed underpants sag a little, the elastic stretched out and the fabric non-coloured from too many mixed washes.

Dean's head pops up ahead of John, otter-slick; panting and chattering. “Cmon, Sammy,” he says, huffing laughter. “It’s cold, cmon!” He duck-dives back under, ass briefly bobbing up above the surface, denim of his faded cut-offs already soaked a deep blue.

“I can’t,” Sammy says, sounding miserable, and he fixes huge eyes on John’s face as John approaches, no longer flickering around to watch Dean’s gleeful cavorting. “I’ll get drownded.”

Another step, and then he’s got John’s hand in a fierce grip, pulling as if he’s trying to yank John closer.

Sam’s chest is shaking, rib cage shell vibrating against John’s hands as he grips under Sammy’s armpits, pulls him forward through the water. Sammy startles and mewls as the water washes over his chest, and wraps arms and legs around John the instant he’s close enough.

The backs of Sammy’s knees rest against one forearm, Sammy’s shoulders against the other, and Dean’s hands cup just behind Sammy’s head, barely touching.

John laughs softly and Sammy’s gaze darts back to him, expression desperately trusting.

“Don’t let go of me,” Sammy says, Dean’s hands cupping under his shoulders now and the muscles of his neck tight with holding his own head up.

Sammy screws his face shut, and they dip him under.


Just lovely.
ratcreature: RatCreature as Sam and Dean. (sam and dean)

[personal profile] ratcreature 2007-02-19 01:10 pm (UTC)(link)
This was a great slice of life.

[identity profile] astrothsknot.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 01:19 pm (UTC)(link)
I'm smiling. You've got me remembering what it was like teacing my then six-yo how to swim.
ext_5650: Six of my favourite characters (Default)

[identity profile] phantomas.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 01:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwww. Poor baby sammy, water-scared, and Dean splashing around like a merboy. Love how protective John is, love it.

:)

(no subject)

[identity profile] naewinter.livejournal.com - 2007-02-20 01:26 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_audrey/ 2007-02-19 01:50 pm (UTC)(link)
AW BABIES!!

I love this series so damn much. ♥

[identity profile] zortified.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 02:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwwww. I love it. I like seeing how John initially is gonna treat Sam like he had Dean, then realises that won't work and would make it worse and treats Sam more gently. I like how Dean is trying to help and being just as nice about it.

[identity profile] ggreenapple.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 05:08 pm (UTC)(link)
because it's sweet and tender, but with this dark magical undertone to it that's almost frightening.

[identity profile] killabeez.livejournal.com 2007-02-19 07:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I'm so glad to see you continuing this series -- and this just kinda killed me a bit. I could feel how terrified Sam was, and I love the way John handles him, so much. Every moment of this is perfection. Vivid, and real, and just right. And then the ending, which just made me want to cry and grab all three of them and hug them safe.
zillah975: (family values - frame from bittersweethe)

[personal profile] zillah975 2007-02-19 10:04 pm (UTC)(link)
Gorgeous. I love how patient John is with him, not trying to pretend he's like Dean and can just be tossed in, and little things like and now they move through the scant undergrowth like little fawn-footed creatures, long legs and youth-thin limbs, stepping carefully and keeping their eye on him. and expression desperately trusting, and bare limbs tumbled together guilelessly in John’s arms and John feels a sudden, helpless surge of affection. Just gorgeous.

[identity profile] eloise-bright.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
Can't tell you how glad I am that John didn't go with the deep end toss.

I love how utterly protected Sammy is in this, by both John and Dean. There's a wonderfully visceral quality to this little snippet, I can almost feel the mud squelching through my toes as I read. *g*
amalthia: (Default)

[personal profile] amalthia 2007-02-20 01:18 am (UTC)(link)
I loved the imagery and how gentle John is with Sam. :)

[identity profile] naewinter.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 01:28 am (UTC)(link)
*LOVES IT*

[identity profile] lilacsigil.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 02:39 am (UTC)(link)
My dad was taught to swim via the deep-end toss, and he made sure that no-one ever did that to his kids - I liked John's care with Sam, letting him find his own way, but pushing him that one step further when needed. But most of all I loved the murky, cool language of this, feeling the tremendous relief of escaping the bright heat and running to the murky, muddy, welcoming river.

[identity profile] zionsstarfish.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 06:31 am (UTC)(link)
So gorgeous, evocative... you created this lovely, protected little space and let us peek into their lives. Even I felt safe when I was reading it. ♥!

Also, thank you for spnfic_podcast... I've really enjoyed the editions I've had a chance to download!

[identity profile] hansbekhart.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 07:11 am (UTC)(link)
Oh man. That was seriously lovely, particularly the ending. Very vivid, gorgeous characterization and something about it feels like it's going to stick in my mind for a long time. That was beautiful.

[identity profile] sharpest_rose.livejournal.com 2007-02-20 11:25 am (UTC)(link)
DUCKLINGS.

You're right, this is awesome and I love it. You're so good at extrapolating backwards with the dynamics we see between them as adults. I love how you write the weechester fambly.
embroiderama: (Sam - wee!)

[personal profile] embroiderama 2007-02-20 11:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I love every detail of this. I can just see it, right from the beginning, like it's a little home movie of the young Winchesters. And it makes me love them all a little bit more than I did before, if I can believe that's even possible. :)
cofax7: climbing on an abbey wall  (Default)

[personal profile] cofax7 2007-02-21 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, that was beautiful.

[identity profile] miconic.livejournal.com 2007-02-21 10:57 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, that's just lovely. The snippet is short and just enough to be both endearing and poignant at the same time.

Thanks for sharing :o)

[identity profile] girlguidejones.livejournal.com 2007-02-23 08:35 pm (UTC)(link)
Gorgeous details sprinkled all throughout this...from Dean's toes brushing John's shin, and the mud squishing through Sammy's. I especially love how John can feel the rough, bitten ends of Sammy's fingernails in his forearm. A lesser writer would just have mentioned the nails digging in...you went further.

Finally, I adore John calling Sammy "baby".

This was wonderful! Thank you!

[identity profile] girlguidejones.livejournal.com 2007-02-23 08:39 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I forgot the most important thing...

...how John knows that his baby boy needs a different swimming lesson than the one he gave Dean. And that he took the time and care to do it. ::loves your John::

[identity profile] nasus221.livejournal.com 2007-02-28 03:47 am (UTC)(link)
Awww, tiny Sammy! And Dean is a good older brother, as usual.

[identity profile] marysue007.livejournal.com 2007-03-01 08:41 am (UTC)(link)
I just love your writing! You have such a great feel for the Winchesters. I friended you, hope that's ok, just don't want to miss any of your stories. Please feel free to friend me back if you like :)

(no subject)

[identity profile] marysue007.livejournal.com - 2007-03-03 16:30 (UTC) - Expand

[identity profile] coripixie.livejournal.com 2007-07-21 01:02 am (UTC)(link)
i'm deeply in love with your take on the pre-series years of the winchester family and of all of your fics that i've read so far, this has been my favorite. this moment between john and sam is sweet, believable, and evocative.
perhaps i am reading more into this than you intended, but i love the way you've amplified the whispering link to baptism that already exists because of john's name with john and dean's action of dipping sam under the water.

this was really great!

and john calling sam 'baby' made me smile and melt under all of the love :)