hope | Fic: The Secretary (Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, NC-17)

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Fic: The Secretary (Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, NC-17)

Title: The Secretary
Author: Hope (

hope /

angstslashhope)
Fandom: Torchwood
Wordcount: ~7000

Genre: PWP, kink
Rating: NC-17
Characters(s): Jack/Ianto
Warnings: mild bondage
Notes:

amand_r is to blame for the writing of this. Thanks to

rexluscus for the super-speedy beta!

Summary: “Have you always had such an unhealthy fixation on office supplies, sir?” / “Only since I got a secretary.”

Read on the AO3.

Mirrored on LJ: http://angstslashhope.livejournal.com/1545122.html

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Oh dear. Will never be able to order stationery with a straight face again.

You're not alone there.

*cough*

I..uh. Yes, then. GUH!

(I'm amazed at how you write several thousand words of PWP!)

Coherent words of praise!

(I'm amazed at how you write several thousand words of PWP!)

inorite? This fandom, seriously. I boggle at myself.

Coherency is overrated :D

Holy hells that was hot!!!!

:D Thank you!

Work on Monday (in an office) will be interesting, I'll never look at a paperclip or thimblettes (also known as a finger condom) in the same way!

wonderful

Thank you!

Yes, I'm not sure that I'd have been able to write it were I still working in an office myself... stationery abounds, indeed.

I don't think I have ever come across a fic that pulls off the office supply kink like this. Very hot and creative. The part where you had Ianto tape Jack's legs to the chair was probably my favorite but then again the ending is perfect too. I especially enjoyed how you described every sensation so vividly that I'm finding myself nibbeling on paperclip while I'm typing. You think I'm kidding.

I'll be in my bunk then, ok?

I especially enjoyed how you described every sensation so vividly that I'm finding myself nibbeling on paperclip while I'm typing. You think I'm kidding.

Ahahahah! Best feedback ever :D

Hooray, I'm glad you liked this. I certainly had a lot of fun writing it :) Thank you!!

HOKAY LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME YOU ARE.

FIRSTLY, you used the staple remover in the story (well a mention)! FULL OF WIN. I had doubts when you sai that you were using glue, but DAYUM.

SECONDLY, the whole thing about Ianto orchestrating this and all the while having these doubts about his own inventiveness and attempting to be creative in the face of Jack's experience, that is really spot on. Ianto is a creative person, I would imagine, but when confronted with a lover who has...well, years and also EXPERIENCE from sheer opportunity, I'm sure he'd be daunted.

I like the almost fumbling moves that he makes, with the paperclips and the foldback clips, because inevitably something always goes wrong in this kind of thing, and it was nice to see the realism of that.

I'll be honest: I shamelessly think that the stamper is the best bit. Mmmm. Confidential.

ILU AND THIS. YOU ARE FULL OF BRILLIANTY THINGS.

Also, LOL that it's Tosh who has introduced Owen and Gwen to PornTube.

Muahahahah. You know, I totally had the staple remover reference in BEFORE YOU EVEN MENTIONED IT. Yes, that IS how awesome I am.

I spent many hours pondering the glue. And glue sticks. And maybe just using the tubing of glue sticks (they have those great ridged twisty bits!) and not the glue. Or maybe the glue. What kind of glue? glue glue glue! SO MUCH COULD GO WRONG, YET SO MUCH COULD GO RIGHT. IS IT THAT KIND OF STORY, THOUGH?

Seriously, hours.

SECONDLY, the whole thing about Ianto orchestrating this and all the while having these doubts about his own inventiveness and attempting to be creative in the face of Jack's experience, that is really spot on.

See, I have this ginormous THEORY about this whole dynamic that really clicked for me as I was writing this. See, the thing is, Jack tells a lot of sexual anecdotes, right? But they're all about these amazing things that other people(/beings) have done to *him*. All his stories are focused on the incredibly/mindblowing skills/assets of his partners. His stories aren't about how awesome *he* is. They're about how awesome the people he sleeps with are.

Now for Jack, who is constantly spraying out his pheromones l-r & centre, flirting with all and sundry, he's in this constant seduction mode; his stories are all part of his whole seduction dance. They're about setting up what he wants from his shag. And while, no doubt, he's picked up some tricks of his own that make him a pretty good lay, basically he's setting up this dynamic where he's challenging his partner to, well, compete with his past conquests. Or, live up to Jack's expectations.

In other words, Jack's a giant conman, and it works for him in that he manipulates his lovers into being more innovative in order to live up to the standards he's been constantly suggesting to him.

Thus my story can be summarised:

Jack: I like office supplies. Hint hint.
Ianto: Sigh, I suppose you do. I suppose I shall play along, knowing you...
Ianto: *proceeds to orchestrate an elaborate encounter in order to get Jack off spectacularly under his administrations*

THAT'S MY THEORY AND I'M STICKING WITH IT.

And of course it's Tosh that introduced them to PornTube. She's a nerd! I bet it went something like:

Owen: Tosh, you're such a loser, the internet is for losers.
Gwen: Yeah, lol, Facebook is much better. btw Owen it's your turn to slay the orc in Elven Blood.
Tosh: LADIES, LADIES, LADIES, GATHER 'ROUND, IT'S TIME FOR TOSHIKO TO WIN.

PS. \o/ Yay you liked it!

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This is so original and clever. Absolutely brilliant. My mind does boggle at the nature of your research for this. (Is Porntube real?) I'm sure that every Staples does stock those items.

Hah! Thank you. Yup, PornTube is real (and actually, I was aware of its presence long ago so, um, it wasn't research much?). Research involved browsing online catalogues of office supplies and cackling madly at the porny potential of so many items (thimblettes, seriously).

Well, Ianto may feel at a disadvantage when it comes to erotic novelty, but he's not the most efficient admin in Cardiff for nothing.

This is all kinds of hot and inventive. Office romance, indeed.

Tee hee. Yes, 'efficient' is certainly what he is.

Cheers!

...you just know this happened after 2x01. Explains why Ianto was all playful 2x02.

I love this.

omg, yes! You are totally right. That's exactly when it happened :D

Thank you!

This really is Ianto's administrations, isn't it? Very well done, Hope :)

IT IS. This is my opus, totally. Well, except for all those other fics that I write that are much longer and have more work go into them.

:D Thank you!

Oh my. Love the rubber stamp reading "Confidential."

This part really made me laugh:

“PC?”

“Politically correct.”

Jack doesn't appear to be any more enlightened, and Ianto shakes his head, giving it up as a lost cause.

Of course Jack wouldn't know the meaning of that phrase.

Nice attention to detail.

Hee. Thank you! I reckon Ianto continues to use the stamp in more administrative situations. Why waste it, after all? Esp as he can use it to make Jack squirm.

Cheers!

oh yum! I have to admit to a certain amount of office supply lust on my end. Not to this extent (as of yet) but I do love browsing catalogs... This was wickedly funny and well thought out. I can totally see Ianto researching and numerating the ways he can make each item a sex toy. Really I loved all of the applications but the best parts to me were Ianto's impression of Jack stretched and straining before him *guh*
So great. And I love how willing (eager?) Ianto is to play along with Jack's bizarro kink.

AND, as I am leaving a very long comment anyway... I like your theory about Jack being a conman in the sack, trying to get everyone to up the ante as it were. But personally I think that he is too charasmatic to not be amazing in bed! Basically, I think he gives as good as he gets.

I digress. Now I'm off to mem this and check for others ^_^

Yes, if I didn't have as much obsessive love for stationery as I do, this would have been a bit harder to write...

Thanks for reading!

Hot !

My favorite part was when Jack's chewing on Ianto's tie. IDK, that particular picture makes a stunning still in my mind.

And word on Jack being a sexual conman.
I'm not saying he's average in bed or that he isn't a fantastic one night stand but I tend to think not everyone learn by experience and long history doesn't necessarily mean good reusable good tricks. Sometimes good looking people like Jack relay a bit too much on being dazzling and don't live up to their pretty face during sex.
So yes Jack is good into creating the good mood for his partners to be creative.

You know he totally looks for excuses to ruin Ianto's ties so that he can steal them and jerk off into them when Ianto's not there.

Glad you enjoyed, thank you!

Holy hells that was hot!!!!

:D Thank you!

Oh Gods...I placed the office stationery order on Friday...it'll be delivered tomorrow...I think I need to get somebody else to unpack it lest they wonder why i'm so, ahem, distracted!

(I'll be in my bunk)

Heeeee! Glad you liked it :D

Holy Moly Hottness. Awesome!

:D Thank you!

OMFG. How did you manage to make this so absurdly hot?!? The alligator clips, especially. And then the "confidential" stamp - I was laughing and fanning myself at the same time. Amazing. Wow.

haha! *claps* Yay! This is exactly what I was going for :D

Thanks so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it!!

Ahahahah!! I don't even know if I've ever read something both so incredibly funny and incredibly hot. You're fantastic, man.

:D Cheers, matey! Glad you liked it!!

I am never going to be able to walk into a Staples without giggling again. Brilliant.

Hee! Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it :D

Okay really, NEVER saw this when i looked at office supplies before. Until now. Straight face, staples, no longer possible. Also, I didn't think this fic could possibly work let alone be hot. I was wrong on both counts.

Heeee :D

Glad you enjoyed this. Thank you!

Guh. I thought I had a dirty mind, but apparently the use of office supplies in this manner never even occurred to me. I think I was just as interested to find out what Ianto would do next as Jack was! Every time some new prop showed up I was like, "There's no way that'll work." And then it did. And it was fabulous. Fantastic job!

Thanks for the awesome feedback! :D heheh, I'm very glad it all worked.

That was so worth the wait. It's luscious, and it was the perfect way to end the day. <3

:D Yay!! I'm glad you liked it <3

Here via the rec at

three_settings - which leads to the version you posted at Dreamwidth but I couldn't comment there as I don't have a Dreamwidth account so I poked around here to find it so I could comment, because -

I adore this. Using office supplies for sex is just such a perfect thing for Ianto to do and I cannot believe I've never seen anything like this before! Plus there's all the gorgeous images of Jack all tied up and nipple-clamped and and... just guh.

Thank you! I was kinda surprised that no one had played around more with the office kink myself *g* But happy to fill that gap!!

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the head's up on the rec, too :D

You know, reading about somebody else's fetish can be either boring or LOL. You manage to show in detail why Jack likes office supplies, and what can be done with them, and it's genuinely hot. I love Ianto's improvisation and care, too.

Cheers! I'm really glad it worked. It was brilliant fun to write :D

I. Um. *blink*

Fandom: gives you kinks you didn't know were kinks!

Heee. Excellent feedback indeed! Thank you :D

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