Fic: The Secretary (Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, NC-17)

[hope]

Title: The Secretary
Author: Hope (hope / angstslashhope)
Fandom: Torchwood
Wordcount: ~7000
Genre: PWP, kink
Rating: NC-17
Characters(s): Jack/Ianto
Warnings: mild bondage
Notes: amand_r is to blame for the writing of this. Thanks to rexluscus for the super-speedy beta!

Summary: “Have you always had such an unhealthy fixation on office supplies, sir?” / “Only since I got a secretary.”

Read on the AO3.

Mirrored on LJ: http://angstslashhope.livejournal.com/1545122.html

Comments

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

HOKAY LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW AWESOME YOU ARE.

FIRSTLY, you used the staple remover in the story (well a mention)! FULL OF WIN. I had doubts when you sai that you were using glue, but DAYUM.

SECONDLY, the whole thing about Ianto orchestrating this and all the while having these doubts about his own inventiveness and attempting to be creative in the face of Jack's experience, that is really spot on. Ianto is a creative person, I would imagine, but when confronted with a lover who has...well, years and also EXPERIENCE from sheer opportunity, I'm sure he'd be daunted.

I like the almost fumbling moves that he makes, with the paperclips and the foldback clips, because inevitably something always goes wrong in this kind of thing, and it was nice to see the realism of that.

I'll be honest: I shamelessly think that the stamper is the best bit. Mmmm. Confidential.

ILU AND THIS. YOU ARE FULL OF BRILLIANTY THINGS.

Also, LOL that it's Tosh who has introduced Owen and Gwen to PornTube.

[hope]

Muahahahah. You know, I totally had the staple remover reference in BEFORE YOU EVEN MENTIONED IT. Yes, that IS how awesome I am.

I spent many hours pondering the glue. And glue sticks. And maybe just using the tubing of glue sticks (they have those great ridged twisty bits!) and not the glue. Or maybe the glue. What kind of glue? glue glue glue! SO MUCH COULD GO WRONG, YET SO MUCH COULD GO RIGHT. IS IT THAT KIND OF STORY, THOUGH?

Seriously, hours.

SECONDLY, the whole thing about Ianto orchestrating this and all the while having these doubts about his own inventiveness and attempting to be creative in the face of Jack's experience, that is really spot on.

See, I have this ginormous THEORY about this whole dynamic that really clicked for me as I was writing this. See, the thing is, Jack tells a lot of sexual anecdotes, right? But they're all about these amazing things that other people(/beings) have done to *him*. All his stories are focused on the incredibly/mindblowing skills/assets of his partners. His stories aren't about how awesome *he* is. They're about how awesome the people he sleeps with are.

Now for Jack, who is constantly spraying out his pheromones l-r & centre, flirting with all and sundry, he's in this constant seduction mode; his stories are all part of his whole seduction dance. They're about setting up what he wants from his shag. And while, no doubt, he's picked up some tricks of his own that make him a pretty good lay, basically he's setting up this dynamic where he's challenging his partner to, well, compete with his past conquests. Or, live up to Jack's expectations.

In other words, Jack's a giant conman, and it works for him in that he manipulates his lovers into being more innovative in order to live up to the standards he's been constantly suggesting to him.

Thus my story can be summarised:

Jack: I like office supplies. Hint hint.
Ianto: Sigh, I suppose you do. I suppose I shall play along, knowing you...
Ianto: *proceeds to orchestrate an elaborate encounter in order to get Jack off spectacularly under his administrations*

THAT'S MY THEORY AND I'M STICKING WITH IT.

And of course it's Tosh that introduced them to PornTube. She's a nerd! I bet it went something like:

Owen: Tosh, you're such a loser, the internet is for losers.
Gwen: Yeah, lol, Facebook is much better. btw Owen it's your turn to slay the orc in Elven Blood.
Tosh: LADIES, LADIES, LADIES, GATHER 'ROUND, IT'S TIME FOR TOSHIKO TO WIN.

PS. \o/ Yay you liked it!

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Re: the stapler remover. IT WAS LIKE YOUR PSYCHIC WAVES WERE BORING INTO MY HEAD.

And RE: Tosh and PornTube-- There is no situation in which Tosh is not MOW.

Okay, I am willing to buy the concept that Jack is a sexual conman. He does like to take an awful lot. And I think that Jack's stories about his partners and how awesome they are is also a little bit of his selflessness showing through in a way—all these creatures have done these things to them, and aren't THEY wonderful. Not him. I'm still willing to bet that Jack is more than a pretty good lay, though. Education through osmosis, is all I'm saying. The question becomes, then, how much does Jack take versus giving.

spectacularly under his administrations LOLOR5.

[hope]

Oh yeah, Jack's totally a good lay himself (I mean, Ianto says so, so it's totes canon!). But, he's a clever conman, his stories make sure his partners are willing to be just as adventurous/willing as he, rather than expecting Jack to do all the work (as he would if he'd just been talking himself up).

The question becomes, then, how much does Jack take versus giving.

Yeah, I think it works both ways, though. He's both goading partners into being more innovative themselves, and paving the way for them to be more willing in letting him be more innovative (after all, he keeps talking about how *awesome* all this stuff is).

ADMINISTRATIONS. IT'S WHERE IT'S AT. (Did you see I threw a token "ministrations" into the story; it was sooooo tempting to make it administrations, I can't even tell you.)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

Okay then. It seems that you have divined the secrets of the ya-ya sisterhood Jack's sexuality. I am in concurrence. This story is totes canon.

IT IS SO HARD NOT TO HAVE IANTO ADMINISTER HIS MINISTRATIONS. FUCK FUCKETY FUCK.

[hope]

ya ya sisterhood / Jack's sexuality... these are not the same thing? (Jack's favourite book is probably "sisterhood of the travelling pants", by the way. He weeps every time he reads it. It reminds him of his childhood in Boe, when they had to share the one pair of Sentient Size-Changing Pants between the whole family.)

[amand-r.livejournal.com]

I always thought he'd read it because he thought it was about girls taking off their knickers and was supremely disappointed.

[quiet--tiger.livejournal.com]

Owen: Tosh, you're such a loser, the internet is for losers.
Gwen: Yeah, lol, Facebook is much better. btw Owen it's your turn to slay the orc in Elven Blood.
Tosh: LADIES, LADIES, LADIES, GATHER 'ROUND, IT'S TIME FOR TOSHIKO TO WIN.

LOL. I assume porntube is like pornotube?

And the story was great, of course. The "innovative dabbling" is because of Ianto, isn't it? Jack just lays there and looks pretty.

I work in an office but generally don't handle paperwork (all computer stuff), and I'm kinda glad 'cause I'd probably space out a lot as I thought about this.