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moebius strips of joy! i love the cyclical narrative, and of course i love the bit with present day sam and dean. and i can appreciate the baby research that's gone into this fic, too. brilliant! and brilliant even though I HATE BABIES!
gold stars and elephant stamps for you!
gold stars and elephant stamps for you!
Well. I took notes aout all of the Baby!Sam moments that I really liked and that were very spot on with kids his age.
Right off from teh very start with Sam's neck at an "impossible ngle" in the carseat with his mouth open in a pout...I see kids ALL THE TIME slumped over like that I just want to fix them becuase it HAS to hurt.
Then when John's holding him and he shifts Sam to his other side and Sam pulls his shirt all askew across his chest - so many times thats happened.
And again I really love the hair combing scene that you excerpted a while back. Plus Dean's look at John when he suggests sharing the cars. Priceless.
Err...the nose tweak, when Sammy blinks like he doen't know what happened. They always get so confused when you touch their noses. Its adorable.
The SHRIEKING. Oh my god it's a common thing to ask "is that a happy noise or not?"
It's also quite fun to have a baby in your arms jostliing you around as they kick frantically because they see someone they know and love - Dean, in Sammy's case.
And then Sam being entranced by the grass picking. I can always look over at somone in the 6-12 month room and see them staring intently at their fingers and trying to seperate little hairs form their fingers.
I got a tiny bit confused towards the end there...not much. Once you brought back the apprition from the road with the car wreck I got it a little more but I'm still not sure what was up with Susie and Anne at the end. And Maggie being sick.
Sam and Dean as adults there? LOVE.
Well. I do believe this is the most in depth I've ever gotten with my eedback. It might be becuase I'm putting off my homework despite it being 10.40 at night.
Right off from teh very start with Sam's neck at an "impossible ngle" in the carseat with his mouth open in a pout...I see kids ALL THE TIME slumped over like that I just want to fix them becuase it HAS to hurt.
Then when John's holding him and he shifts Sam to his other side and Sam pulls his shirt all askew across his chest - so many times thats happened.
And again I really love the hair combing scene that you excerpted a while back. Plus Dean's look at John when he suggests sharing the cars. Priceless.
Err...the nose tweak, when Sammy blinks like he doen't know what happened. They always get so confused when you touch their noses. Its adorable.
The SHRIEKING. Oh my god it's a common thing to ask "is that a happy noise or not?"
It's also quite fun to have a baby in your arms jostliing you around as they kick frantically because they see someone they know and love - Dean, in Sammy's case.
And then Sam being entranced by the grass picking. I can always look over at somone in the 6-12 month room and see them staring intently at their fingers and trying to seperate little hairs form their fingers.
I got a tiny bit confused towards the end there...not much. Once you brought back the apprition from the road with the car wreck I got it a little more but I'm still not sure what was up with Susie and Anne at the end. And Maggie being sick.
Sam and Dean as adults there? LOVE.
Well. I do believe this is the most in depth I've ever gotten with my eedback. It might be becuase I'm putting off my homework despite it being 10.40 at night.
*beams* oooer, thank you SO MUCH for all the baby complements... It was one of the elements of the story that I was most concerned about... having not been around very many babies in my life!!
I got a tiny bit confused towards the end there...not much. Once you brought back the apprition from the road with the car wreck I got it a little more but I'm still not sure what was up with Susie and Anne at the end. And Maggie being sick.
Ah yes, I was worried about how obtuse that all was. but for me, it was not much more than the rest of it. it's all one big intricate mess that makes sense to me, and i kind of just... shove it into the world with a pair of clean underwear and my fingers crossed.
mainly the end was about the whole town being fucked, and no one ever leaving, and the temporal/doppelganger moebius thing being two-sided but continuous and unreliable. generally speaking.
I totally just made the confusion worse, didn't i?
Thank you for the feedback. I am really, really glad you liked it :D
Good luck with the homework!!
I got a tiny bit confused towards the end there...not much. Once you brought back the apprition from the road with the car wreck I got it a little more but I'm still not sure what was up with Susie and Anne at the end. And Maggie being sick.
Ah yes, I was worried about how obtuse that all was. but for me, it was not much more than the rest of it. it's all one big intricate mess that makes sense to me, and i kind of just... shove it into the world with a pair of clean underwear and my fingers crossed.
mainly the end was about the whole town being fucked, and no one ever leaving, and the temporal/doppelganger moebius thing being two-sided but continuous and unreliable. generally speaking.
I totally just made the confusion worse, didn't i?
Thank you for the feedback. I am really, really glad you liked it :D
Good luck with the homework!!
Wow, I loved this. It's such a gorgeous look at this particular period of John's life, but what really got me was this:
“It’s okay, Dean,” John says again. “It’s okay.” He pets Dean’s hair awkwardly, and Dean’s trembling’s already subsiding. “Nothing bad is going to happen. Not while I’m here.”
Yeah. That totally did me in. *loves John* Wonderful story.
“It’s okay, Dean,” John says again. “It’s okay.” He pets Dean’s hair awkwardly, and Dean’s trembling’s already subsiding. “Nothing bad is going to happen. Not while I’m here.”
Yeah. That totally did me in. *loves John* Wonderful story.
Oh wow. Maybe it's just because I'm tired, but I think I'm gonna have to go back tomorrow and read this all over again. There were so many clues that I picked up but didn't fit together in my brain until the end, and I'm looking forward to going back and making sense of it all. This was really great. Really well written, set in a time period that we never hear about with a really original take on the paranormal things they face. I loved the family dynamic. I think one of the things that particularly stuck out to be about this fic was the consistency of John's interactions with Dean - it was really clear how this relationship could've developed into what we see in the show, with John's casual dismissal mixed with his love for the boys, and Dean's adoration, which is obvious without ever really needing to be spelled out. Wonderful story, really a pleasure to read.
Honestly, this is one of the best case-based Supernatural fics I've ever read. John seeing future!Sam and Dean was excellent, and I love all the little touches, like the paper about the first woman in space. Your characterisation was incredible, and the supporting characters felt real. Great mystery, too. Loved it.
One typo I picked up:
The road’s ahead of him them, town at the end of it, straight taper that seems to twist and reel when he accelerates. He doesn’t look back.
Should be either the road's ahead of him, or the road's ahead of them, not both.
One typo I picked up:
The road’s ahead of him them, town at the end of it, straight taper that seems to twist and reel when he accelerates. He doesn’t look back.
Should be either the road's ahead of him, or the road's ahead of them, not both.
This was incredible! I have never read a John centric piece this elaborate and I don't think I can be topped easily. Wow, I'm still stunned.
This piece was breathtaking. The way you write him with the kids, it made my heart clench. Have you written more about John and the Wee!chesters? Because I would LOVE to see more where this came from.
Thank you for sharing, it was a pleasure to read.
This piece was breathtaking. The way you write him with the kids, it made my heart clench. Have you written more about John and the Wee!chesters? Because I would LOVE to see more where this came from.
Thank you for sharing, it was a pleasure to read.
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback!!
I have written more pre-series previously (which you can find at this journal), nothing this long and involved, though. Quite possibly I'm write more in future, though I'm not sure what form it'll take.
Thanks again - I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
I have written more pre-series previously (which you can find at this journal), nothing this long and involved, though. Quite possibly I'm write more in future, though I'm not sure what form it'll take.
Thanks again - I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
I love this on so many levels. The early John Winchester, still freaked out a bit by the supernatural, and searching for his place in it. I got the sense that he went to the town to try to find some connection with Mary, and that it turned into something else. The details of everyday life, the trip to Goodwill, the interaction with townsfolk and trading work for food and lodging, it's all just amazing. Your descriptions were breathtaking and so familiar and easy to understand that I stand in awe.
And the structure of this, how it is a mobius strip, the sighting of the doppelgangers, and the appearance of Sam and Dean later, the return to the scene of the accident. It was absolutely brilliant. I can't even do justice to all the things in this story that I love.
My first instinct on finishing was to read it again, and again and again. Your story, inspiring me into a mobius strip of reading. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
And the structure of this, how it is a mobius strip, the sighting of the doppelgangers, and the appearance of Sam and Dean later, the return to the scene of the accident. It was absolutely brilliant. I can't even do justice to all the things in this story that I love.
My first instinct on finishing was to read it again, and again and again. Your story, inspiring me into a mobius strip of reading. Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
Oh, boys. All of them. *smishes them* This is just....awesome and the whole doppelganger thing and the. Just. So. Great. Love this. ♥♥♥
...holy crap :D that was excellent. The best wee!winchesters I've ever read, and aww Dean asking to drive lol cute :)
I'm assuming the two guys fighting were *the* guys, with the dude's and gun's thrown in there :D and JOHN I love John in this, and sometimes its so hard to love john but in this; SO did :D
cannot praise enough dude, kudos, and then some!
I'm assuming the two guys fighting were *the* guys, with the dude's and gun's thrown in there :D and JOHN I love John in this, and sometimes its so hard to love john but in this; SO did :D
cannot praise enough dude, kudos, and then some!
Oh, damn, i'm speechless. it's brilliant. Sam and Dean in the future and the otherworldness of it all. I love seeing John, Dean and Sam as a family, as children, not warring adults.
Wow! This was such an incredible story! Definitely one of the best that I've read in this fandom yet. The details were amazing, you had me picturing every moment like it was happening right in front of me. You wrote a baby Sammy and a 5 year old Dean perfectly! It made me miss my kids as babies (they are 7 and 11 now). The whole story was great. Definitely going in memories so I can read it again!
*squeaks* Oh, this is awesome. Had to stop about a thousand times to babble to flatmates about babies and doppelgangers and moebius strips and sheer unadulted genius... and JOHN. Of whom I am not generally terribly enamoured, but I really love him a lot here because he so obviously adores his kids.
There's another garbage bag quarter-full of them in the trunk, and no use saving hand-me-downs; by the time Sammy’s Dean's age they'll be somewhere with plenty of room for clothes, and money enough to buy them new.
But that nearly broke my heart. :( I wonder when he realised that would never be true... *clutches*
And, dude, Sam and Dean, I so nearly missed that because am IDIOT, but... dude. Awesome. And the journal pages and and and double plus good.
There's another garbage bag quarter-full of them in the trunk, and no use saving hand-me-downs; by the time Sammy’s Dean's age they'll be somewhere with plenty of room for clothes, and money enough to buy them new.
But that nearly broke my heart. :( I wonder when he realised that would never be true... *clutches*
And, dude, Sam and Dean, I so nearly missed that because am IDIOT, but... dude. Awesome. And the journal pages and and and double plus good.
Wow! I am just in awe of your storytelling ability. It's just . . . wow!
I love your depictions of baby!Sammy. He's just so adorable.
I love your depictions of baby!Sammy. He's just so adorable.
This is absolutely fantastic, extremely well thought out and well written.
And so creepy.
And so creepy.
Wow. Every bit of this was just right, with so many tiny details brought to life. I love your version of John; he seems exactly like I would expect canon!John to be in the early days. Awesome story!
I've had this bookmarked forever, but just now got around to reading it and -- wow. Honey, this is fantastic!
Your characterization of John is one of the best I've ever read, trying to hard to be a good father despite all the horrible things around him, and the little boys are beyond cute. I love the slow, menacing way it builds up, with little hints and shadows from the original characters and the atmosphere, and the end is like a punch in the gut. Amazing.
Your characterization of John is one of the best I've ever read, trying to hard to be a good father despite all the horrible things around him, and the little boys are beyond cute. I love the slow, menacing way it builds up, with little hints and shadows from the original characters and the atmosphere, and the end is like a punch in the gut. Amazing.
Gleeee! Thank you so much!! Such a great comment to get from the Queen Of Genfic :D
A lot of thought/meta went into this characterisation of John, so I can't tell you how glad I am that it all came smoothly together and managed to be a powerful story in and of itself :)
Thank you!! ♥
A lot of thought/meta went into this characterisation of John, so I can't tell you how glad I am that it all came smoothly together and managed to be a powerful story in and of itself :)
Thank you!! ♥
Wow. Just -- wow. I need to read it again.
There are so many things to love about this story, but I'll list a few that really stick with me:
-- The way Dean asks his father about the lady on the road, when John was probably hoping he wouldn't.
-- That Sammy's first word is car! The cute, it burns.
-- That Dean instinctively takes Sam with him when he gets out of bed scared, and then at the end, keeps his fingers on the car door. Because he's already learning that keeping Sam safe will be his job for the rest of his life.
-- That the love between the two boys fits perfectly with how we know them as grownups, and that we even get to see it here, briefly in their grownup selves.
-- That John didn't just pack up the kids in the Impala and head off demon hunting; that in the beginning, his journey was actually about hope. I adore that idea. And I wonder how much of this period Dean would actually remember later.
-- That John still believes they'll be settled again, ever. Ow. And that he doesn't even recognize his boys, because he simply can't imagine that life for them.
-- That John is just so alone -- no contacts yet, nobody to talk over a mystery with, no real clue what he's getting himself into, just him and his kids and his car.
-- The Moebius, of course.
I read your story yesterday and I've been thinking about it all night. You really hit one out of the ballpark here.
I don't suppose you could rec any other good Wee!chester fic? Or do you have a recs page?
There are so many things to love about this story, but I'll list a few that really stick with me:
-- The way Dean asks his father about the lady on the road, when John was probably hoping he wouldn't.
-- That Sammy's first word is car! The cute, it burns.
-- That Dean instinctively takes Sam with him when he gets out of bed scared, and then at the end, keeps his fingers on the car door. Because he's already learning that keeping Sam safe will be his job for the rest of his life.
-- That the love between the two boys fits perfectly with how we know them as grownups, and that we even get to see it here, briefly in their grownup selves.
-- That John didn't just pack up the kids in the Impala and head off demon hunting; that in the beginning, his journey was actually about hope. I adore that idea. And I wonder how much of this period Dean would actually remember later.
-- That John still believes they'll be settled again, ever. Ow. And that he doesn't even recognize his boys, because he simply can't imagine that life for them.
-- That John is just so alone -- no contacts yet, nobody to talk over a mystery with, no real clue what he's getting himself into, just him and his kids and his car.
-- The Moebius, of course.
I read your story yesterday and I've been thinking about it all night. You really hit one out of the ballpark here.
I don't suppose you could rec any other good Wee!chester fic? Or do you have a recs page?
whee! I'm glad you liked this :) I always love finding out the particular things that pinged people as they were reading :D Thank you for the lovely feedback!!
I do indeed have a recs page, here: http://angstslashhope.livejournal.com/987736.html
There's a pre-series section on there, even :D
Enjoy!
I do indeed have a recs page, here: http://angstslashhope.livejournal.com/987736.html
There's a pre-series section on there, even :D
Enjoy!
WOW! I am in shock. I will have to calm down and re read and give a better review later! Great work! I loved every moment of this story!
You had me at When he first sees her she’s like a misshapen blade dissecting the horizon, swaying slightly, cutting through the faint misty green of the hills behind her to pierce the black tarmac.
This is a definite re-read--I'm still sorting the mystery out. The atmosphere in this is fantastic, quietly haunting and so memorable.
Your baby Sam and little Dean are so perfect, as is your portrayal of John in the early days. His assumption that this nomadic life isn't temporary was heartbreaking and believable. The complexity of John and Dean, the love he has for both of his children, yet Dean bearing the brunt of it and assigned to never leave Sam alone in the car; but John's concern for Dean comes across as strongly as his concern for Sam.
Brilliant piece of writing, beautifully done. Wow.
This is a definite re-read--I'm still sorting the mystery out. The atmosphere in this is fantastic, quietly haunting and so memorable.
Your baby Sam and little Dean are so perfect, as is your portrayal of John in the early days. His assumption that this nomadic life isn't temporary was heartbreaking and believable. The complexity of John and Dean, the love he has for both of his children, yet Dean bearing the brunt of it and assigned to never leave Sam alone in the car; but John's concern for Dean comes across as strongly as his concern for Sam.
Brilliant piece of writing, beautifully done. Wow.
Heh. I meant that "this nomadic life IS temporary." I can barely get my thoughts together on this. *g*
That was awesome. Such a great idea and I LOVED how you wrote John. It's so refreshing to read a story where he's in character.
And the boys too... the details for baby!Sam and little!Dean added so much to their characterisations.
Just fantastic ^_^
And the boys too... the details for baby!Sam and little!Dean added so much to their characterisations.
Just fantastic ^_^
Wow, just this is fabulous!
I love all the different ways that there are beginnings tied to ends, like the woman from the car wreck in the opening scenes and again at the end, the twisting bracelet without a beginning or an end, the doppleganger Sam and Dean etc. I think I need to read it again (in one go this time) to really get it all, because my brain was mising things toward the end there.
I also adore the family moments. I haven't read any stories with Dean and Sammy at such a young age, and I love how John is sucha loving father while still attempting to deal with so much stuff.
Anyway, I'm not so great at the feedback thing, but I had to give it a go here. Thanks for such an intriguing read. :)
I love all the different ways that there are beginnings tied to ends, like the woman from the car wreck in the opening scenes and again at the end, the twisting bracelet without a beginning or an end, the doppleganger Sam and Dean etc. I think I need to read it again (in one go this time) to really get it all, because my brain was mising things toward the end there.
I also adore the family moments. I haven't read any stories with Dean and Sammy at such a young age, and I love how John is sucha loving father while still attempting to deal with so much stuff.
Anyway, I'm not so great at the feedback thing, but I had to give it a go here. Thanks for such an intriguing read. :)
I'm totally stuck in: oh wow. I honestly would like to give you a better review, because this fic so deserves it, but my god. I'm still reeling.
Amazing, incredibly well thought out, oh-my-god-they-should-make-this-an-episode!fic.
Amazing, incredibly well thought out, oh-my-god-they-should-make-this-an-episode!fic.
This is the most beautiful portrayal of a newly-widowed John I have read. I love how he is struggling with raising his two boys; how he has to beg for help and doesn't want them to see; and, in the end, how he is somehow managing to get by. The characterization is perfect. It's refreshing to see him at a time when he hasn't gotten anything figured out and is still struggling with his new path in life. To see his journal as mostly empty is a perfect metaphor for that. Well done.
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