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well, this deserves a hell of a lot mroe than i can gather in my brain this early(YES, IT'S EARLY, DANGIT), so i will come back but for the moment: holy CRAP, woman, this is AMAZING. i want to make it into a pillow and hug it to me and NEVER LET GO.
Oh, man. I need to go record Tiber, but I kind of want to go back and read this again right now.
Okay, first, the kids--God, my poor ovaries. I love what a sweet, tender family they are, even with all the weirdness John's sneaking off to do. Not to mention I feel like he spent a lot of time begging his way into changing rooms for a couple of years, there. Dean and Sam are incredibly adorable without being the center of the story
And on the subject of John, I *love* the way you write him. I think the first couple of years after Mary died make for such interesting stories, and I really like this weird place he's in between, like "John Winchester, Suburban Mechanic" and "John Winchester, Scourge of the Undead Hordes". His love for his kids comes across really clearly, and you strike a really nice balance between normal paternal terror and the kind of emotionally paralyzing paranoia he'll get to in a couple of years.
And can I just say, the Dean and Sam doppelgangers, the bracelet/road thing, the accident at the beginning and end--I love your brain. I really really do.
Such a great job.
Okay, first, the kids--God, my poor ovaries. I love what a sweet, tender family they are, even with all the weirdness John's sneaking off to do. Not to mention I feel like he spent a lot of time begging his way into changing rooms for a couple of years, there. Dean and Sam are incredibly adorable without being the center of the story
And on the subject of John, I *love* the way you write him. I think the first couple of years after Mary died make for such interesting stories, and I really like this weird place he's in between, like "John Winchester, Suburban Mechanic" and "John Winchester, Scourge of the Undead Hordes". His love for his kids comes across really clearly, and you strike a really nice balance between normal paternal terror and the kind of emotionally paralyzing paranoia he'll get to in a couple of years.
And can I just say, the Dean and Sam doppelgangers, the bracelet/road thing, the accident at the beginning and end--I love your brain. I really really do.
Such a great job.
And can I just say, the Dean and Sam doppelgangers, the bracelet/road thing, the accident at the beginning and end--I love your brain. I really really do.
*HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF*
There was anxiety in the beta stages where it was all too obtuse and non-sense-making. I can't tell you how glad I am that it actually ended up WORKING.
And on the subject of John, I *love* the way you write him. I think the first couple of years after Mary died make for such interesting stories, and I really like this weird place he's in between
Totally. I like to think that that's essentially what the story's about - that liminal space that John's in where it isn't decided yet that this is going to be for the rest of his life (next 20 years, at least); where he's trying to protect the boys from *knowing* about these things, not so much about from the things themselves. Where he's still coming to terms with what happened to Mary, maybe thinking he can get her back... before settling in on vengeance. And yeah. Not-quite-hunter yet. And how difficult it would have been for him, all on his own, essentially, with two such fragile lives in his responsibility!
Er, anyway. I could ramble about it for ages (and obviously already have... 22000 word's worth, hah).
THANK YOU. ♥
*HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF*
There was anxiety in the beta stages where it was all too obtuse and non-sense-making. I can't tell you how glad I am that it actually ended up WORKING.
And on the subject of John, I *love* the way you write him. I think the first couple of years after Mary died make for such interesting stories, and I really like this weird place he's in between
Totally. I like to think that that's essentially what the story's about - that liminal space that John's in where it isn't decided yet that this is going to be for the rest of his life (next 20 years, at least); where he's trying to protect the boys from *knowing* about these things, not so much about from the things themselves. Where he's still coming to terms with what happened to Mary, maybe thinking he can get her back... before settling in on vengeance. And yeah. Not-quite-hunter yet. And how difficult it would have been for him, all on his own, essentially, with two such fragile lives in his responsibility!
Er, anyway. I could ramble about it for ages (and obviously already have... 22000 word's worth, hah).
THANK YOU. ♥
You already know that I love this and am astounded by it, but I'll repeat that here for completeness' sake. This is a really fantastic piece of work.
Man, I was just sucked right into this story! I didn't realise until I started reading it how hungry I was for a really good story set in this time of John's life. We see a lot of stories when Sammy is five or six, and later when he's eleven or twelve. But very few dealing with his baby years, and when Dean is stil so small.
I love John as a father, how easy it is for him with Sammy, who just needs love and food and the occasional diaper change. And how much harder it is for Dean, who's already taking responsibility for his little brother and bearing the brunt of their difficult life at times.
The tender moments between Dean and John were just perfect, and I adored Dean being so tender with his little brother. Especially the scene with the toy cars - and Dean running it over Sammy, then Sammy taking a turn and running it over Dean in his baby-clumsy way.
The story was haunting and scary and the doppelganger scene with our present day boys was inspired.
I wish my feedback lived up to your story! Thanks so much for sharing, this is now a firm favourite. :-)
I love John as a father, how easy it is for him with Sammy, who just needs love and food and the occasional diaper change. And how much harder it is for Dean, who's already taking responsibility for his little brother and bearing the brunt of their difficult life at times.
The tender moments between Dean and John were just perfect, and I adored Dean being so tender with his little brother. Especially the scene with the toy cars - and Dean running it over Sammy, then Sammy taking a turn and running it over Dean in his baby-clumsy way.
The story was haunting and scary and the doppelganger scene with our present day boys was inspired.
I wish my feedback lived up to your story! Thanks so much for sharing, this is now a firm favourite. :-)
Thank you so much! The feedback is lovely :)
It's funny, I stressed and tinkered so much with the paranormal dynamic to this story, I barely even thought that much about the familial relationships (or at least, not in as much depth). I love it when things come together of their own accord like that :)
I'm very glad you liked :D
It's funny, I stressed and tinkered so much with the paranormal dynamic to this story, I barely even thought that much about the familial relationships (or at least, not in as much depth). I love it when things come together of their own accord like that :)
I'm very glad you liked :D
Oh, man. Yes, yes, yes. You already know I love this and I've wibbled at you endlessly about how much I love it but I just had to wibble again.
John catapulted into this completely foreign, overwhelmingly female world and the mobius aspects and and and, just, yes!
(Not so good with the coherency, yo.)
John catapulted into this completely foreign, overwhelmingly female world and the mobius aspects and and and, just, yes!
(Not so good with the coherency, yo.)
Oh, yes When I read you were writing a pre-series John, There Was Squee, but oh, this was better than I could have imagined. I love your John so much; so gentle with Sammy, and already pushing Dean and generally doing the best he knows how, which is damn good.
I have to admit that I haven't finished reading it yet, because I'm housesitting and it's dark and blowing a gale outside. I was fine until John comes out of the basement and the house is turned around and Sammy's gone I was all 'No. Just, no. Waiting until morning to read the rest of it'.
Can't wait. Thank you so much for sharing this :)
I have to admit that I haven't finished reading it yet, because I'm housesitting and it's dark and blowing a gale outside. I was fine until John comes out of the basement and the house is turned around and Sammy's gone I was all 'No. Just, no. Waiting until morning to read the rest of it'.
Can't wait. Thank you so much for sharing this :)
Absolutely wonderful story. Aside from a wonderful and creepy mystery story, expertly told, you've shown such insight and compassion for John, and this felt absolutely true to his character. You even captured Dean and Sam's personalities so clearly, while keeping them true to their respective ages, and you did it with such skill that as soon as I started reading, I just relaxed and knew I could trust you to get everything right. I wasn't disappointed.
What a wonderful, achy feeling you gave me with all the details of their lives, all the ways in which John doubts himself, and hurts for the way things are, but doesn't let it stop him from being who he is. His love for the boys is so powerful and clear, and I love the ways you've chosen to show us that he is the best father in the world, and still can't be everything, all the time. I love how strong Dean already has to be, and how Sammy's world is the space between John and Dean, and himself firmly in the middle.
Adored the unfolding of the mystery in the last part, especially, with the journal, and the Impala (how cool is that!?), and Sam gone, and that he doesn't recognize older Sam and Dean, can't quite envision that future. I love that he still imagines that they'll have a home and be settled by the time Sam is Dean's age. All the hair on my body stood on end during the scene where he sees Sam and Dean at the end, and Sam sees him.
Fantastic story, seriously. Thank you so much.
What a wonderful, achy feeling you gave me with all the details of their lives, all the ways in which John doubts himself, and hurts for the way things are, but doesn't let it stop him from being who he is. His love for the boys is so powerful and clear, and I love the ways you've chosen to show us that he is the best father in the world, and still can't be everything, all the time. I love how strong Dean already has to be, and how Sammy's world is the space between John and Dean, and himself firmly in the middle.
Adored the unfolding of the mystery in the last part, especially, with the journal, and the Impala (how cool is that!?), and Sam gone, and that he doesn't recognize older Sam and Dean, can't quite envision that future. I love that he still imagines that they'll have a home and be settled by the time Sam is Dean's age. All the hair on my body stood on end during the scene where he sees Sam and Dean at the end, and Sam sees him.
Fantastic story, seriously. Thank you so much.
Thank you for the wonderful feedback :)
You picked out all the things I worked really hard on - the mystery, the creepiness, the characterisation!
As I was writing it myself, more and more as I went on I came to understand what the story was about - who and why John is. It's so great to hear how well that all came out in the story. Yay!
Thanks again :D
You picked out all the things I worked really hard on - the mystery, the creepiness, the characterisation!
As I was writing it myself, more and more as I went on I came to understand what the story was about - who and why John is. It's so great to hear how well that all came out in the story. Yay!
Thanks again :D
I enjoyed this portrayal of John with his kids just starting out as a hunter. The creepiness was also very cool, how the horror mixed with the normal, though I don't think I understood all of the mystery and what supernatural things were going on exactly.
Ooh, very cool. What a strange, twisty little story and wow - creepy too. Loved the boys burning the house and John all lost in it, the *hum*...
*shudder*
Yes, good, good stuff. Poor wee!Dean, just feeling his way as to what it is to be John's little boy, now.
*sniffle*
Lovely!
*shudder*
Yes, good, good stuff. Poor wee!Dean, just feeling his way as to what it is to be John's little boy, now.
*sniffle*
Lovely!
Holy crap, that was amazing. So complex and plotty and hurty and good. It's amazing to see John at the beginning of his hunting career, when he's lost and things are frightening. His characterisation is perfect - the belief he has that this will all be over soon, the need to see his wife drawing him to this town, it's all incredible. Best Johnfic I've ever read.
Thank you so much for the lovely complements!
My original intention was to write an episodic/hunting story... set way back when the boys were still wee. Turned out that at that point, there was so much more to say :D
Best Johnfic I've ever read.
THANK YOU. This means so much to me *glees*
My original intention was to write an episodic/hunting story... set way back when the boys were still wee. Turned out that at that point, there was so much more to say :D
Best Johnfic I've ever read.
THANK YOU. This means so much to me *glees*
You know, I wasn't planning to read fic this morning, and then I read the first few paragraphs of this story and got totally sucked in. I love the leisurely, atmospheric way the tale unfolded, the way the spookiness of it creeps up on the reader, carefully building. I love your John, struggling through this transitional stage of his life, still more father than hunter, stumbling awkwardly from ghosts to dirty diapers and back again. The scene with the grown Sam and Dean dopplegangers was brilliant, and I loved how all the little clues and details fit together. Just beautiful, all of it.
This was serious awesome.
I love love love the way you've written John. His characterization is spot on. I like the in between period, because John didn't go from blue-collar-husband-father-of-two to bad-ass demon hunter over night. It's nice to see his path of getting to that. And I adore little Dean and baby Sammy, too cute for words. I'm not a huge fan of present day John fic, but I really love past John fic and this was fantastic.
Great job!
I love love love the way you've written John. His characterization is spot on. I like the in between period, because John didn't go from blue-collar-husband-father-of-two to bad-ass demon hunter over night. It's nice to see his path of getting to that. And I adore little Dean and baby Sammy, too cute for words. I'm not a huge fan of present day John fic, but I really love past John fic and this was fantastic.
Great job!
Dude!
So much love I can't even describe to you.
That was just amazing, vividly written, so beautiful.
What an amazing job of the early years for the little family. I have never written a better story in this fandom, it just worked so unbelievably well.
John was amazing, absolutely amazing. Totally the early John I can picture. And oh your boys...your boys...
I have never been so impressed seriously, it was quiet and effective and so damned perfect in every way.
I would literally PAY to see more along the lines of this from you.
Baby Sam, does things to me I can't even say, I JUST want to cuddle him so bad, and Dean...quite, responsible, gorgeous little Dean.
It's so THEM.
And John is just the John we all can imagine seeing, strong, loving, so hands on with his babies, so protective.
Just amazing my dear, absolutely amazing, please GOD write more for this fandom, and more Wee Winchesters. You have made my day with this, no my week.
I am reccing you right now! You amazing human being.
So much love I can't even describe to you.
That was just amazing, vividly written, so beautiful.
What an amazing job of the early years for the little family. I have never written a better story in this fandom, it just worked so unbelievably well.
John was amazing, absolutely amazing. Totally the early John I can picture. And oh your boys...your boys...
I have never been so impressed seriously, it was quiet and effective and so damned perfect in every way.
I would literally PAY to see more along the lines of this from you.
Baby Sam, does things to me I can't even say, I JUST want to cuddle him so bad, and Dean...quite, responsible, gorgeous little Dean.
It's so THEM.
And John is just the John we all can imagine seeing, strong, loving, so hands on with his babies, so protective.
Just amazing my dear, absolutely amazing, please GOD write more for this fandom, and more Wee Winchesters. You have made my day with this, no my week.
I am reccing you right now! You amazing human being.
*grins* wow. I think that's the most effusive feedback I've ever got!!
Thank you so much :) I am incredibly pleased that it's given you so much joy!
I would literally PAY to see more along the lines of this from you.
Ah man. As fun as this was, not sure if I could write more of this ilk - I've told this story, now. I'm working on other stuff, other times :D I still do love the wee!chesters, though, so I'll be visiting them for a long time yet.
But yep, I am definitely still writing in this fandom! I have a couple of things on the go right now. I love it :)
Thank you so much :) I am incredibly pleased that it's given you so much joy!
I would literally PAY to see more along the lines of this from you.
Ah man. As fun as this was, not sure if I could write more of this ilk - I've told this story, now. I'm working on other stuff, other times :D I still do love the wee!chesters, though, so I'll be visiting them for a long time yet.
But yep, I am definitely still writing in this fandom! I have a couple of things on the go right now. I love it :)
LOOK how excited you have me, I put I have never WRITTEN a better story for this fandom, what I meant was READ, I couldn't HOPE to write this beautifully.
I am still amazed.
*wanders off in awe of your talent*
I am still amazed.
*wanders off in awe of your talent*
Wonderfully well-written, complex without being complicated.
I love this! You write John so well, him being in this in-between place before he started hunting full-time. Him as a father -- I love it. Amd the doppelganger bit? Gave me shivers. I felt John's terror completely when Sammy disappeared. *bookmarks*
So impressive, Hope! And spooky and quiet and desperate and three-dimensional and warm-hearted and painful. And did I mention impressive?
You know, i have a 14 month old and over and over I was struck by the little details you give us describing Sam's baby-ness. Home run on that aspect of the fic! \o/
Lovely John and intriguing mystery. It satisfies my soul. Thanks for sharing!
You know, i have a 14 month old and over and over I was struck by the little details you give us describing Sam's baby-ness. Home run on that aspect of the fic! \o/
Lovely John and intriguing mystery. It satisfies my soul. Thanks for sharing!
You know, i have a 14 month old and over and over I was struck by the little details you give us describing Sam's baby-ness. Home run on that aspect of the fic! \o/
YAY! I was a bit concerned about that. It's been a while since I've been around a bub. (the amount of research on *baby* stuff I did for this story, honestly... *rolls eyes*)
Thank you so much for the feedback :D It's so nice when things you work real hard on end up impressive.
Heart!
YAY! I was a bit concerned about that. It's been a while since I've been around a bub. (the amount of research on *baby* stuff I did for this story, honestly... *rolls eyes*)
Thank you so much for the feedback :D It's so nice when things you work real hard on end up impressive.
Heart!
Damn.
Damn.
That was amazing. The end, with John in the house and the doppelganger and Sammy missing, felt like being in a dream. Surreal and awesome.
Damn.
That was amazing. The end, with John in the house and the doppelganger and Sammy missing, felt like being in a dream. Surreal and awesome.
That was really incredible. It moved from concrete reality at the start to this surreal, dream-like ending. Incredible. I loved John's transitioning in this, the way you show him starting to move from a man clinging to hope that he might see his dead wife again to a man who is starting to realise that there is some horrible stuff out there in the dark. It's so nuanced and elegantly done. And of course, the boys, what can I say? Baby!Sammy killed me dead. He was so adorable and you wrote that age so well. And Dean. He's so five and yet, I can really see shadows of the man he's going to become in him; he already feels the burden of caring for Sammy, he's so responcible when it comes to his brother and his reaction to the playpen was wonderful. So fantastic. I loved this, and it's definitely going into my memories.
Wow.
This is just breathtaking. I love that you've taken a time when John was in transition, not a hunter, but no longer just a guy - and fleshed out his character perfectly. I adore his interactions with the boys - baby Sammy made me melt each time you described him, and Wee Dean broke my heart. The moment in the motel when Dean heard the baby cry and John held them both was mesmerizing.
The doppleganger older Sam and Dean was breathtaking, I think my hands were shaking and I was reacting the way John did in the fic.
Stunning work.
This is just breathtaking. I love that you've taken a time when John was in transition, not a hunter, but no longer just a guy - and fleshed out his character perfectly. I adore his interactions with the boys - baby Sammy made me melt each time you described him, and Wee Dean broke my heart. The moment in the motel when Dean heard the baby cry and John held them both was mesmerizing.
The doppleganger older Sam and Dean was breathtaking, I think my hands were shaking and I was reacting the way John did in the fic.
Stunning work.
Adding my voice to the chorus :D
I read it all in one breath, and I know I'll print it out and re-read it many more times, because there's so much to appreciate. it's late in the night here and my brain is too fired to be up to proper commenting, but thank you, your John was spot on, lost and still going, father and protector and trying to make sense of it all. Love the OCs. And, of course, the boys, the relationship between them forging itself in something special already.
Best scene for me, right now, is when they hear the baby crying at night, Dean holding Sam to himself and seeking refuge under John's blanket. Damn creepy scene.
and so much more.
thank you :)
I read it all in one breath, and I know I'll print it out and re-read it many more times, because there's so much to appreciate. it's late in the night here and my brain is too fired to be up to proper commenting, but thank you, your John was spot on, lost and still going, father and protector and trying to make sense of it all. Love the OCs. And, of course, the boys, the relationship between them forging itself in something special already.
Best scene for me, right now, is when they hear the baby crying at night, Dean holding Sam to himself and seeking refuge under John's blanket. Damn creepy scene.
and so much more.
thank you :)
Oh, wow.
*is flabbergasted*
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
You've hit my incoherent level.
I've recced this on my journal, because, wow.
*is flabbergasted*
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
You've hit my incoherent level.
I've recced this on my journal, because, wow.
This was just . . . I'm at a loss for words. SO good. So GOOD! Amazing storytelling. I've never read John like this - never even pictured him like this, when he's just starting to not even hunt so much as SEARCH - try to work things out in his own life against the backdrop of things he's starting to discover elsewhere. You have made him beyond compelling. I can FEEL him - the way he's learning to act with/react to Dean and how difficult it is for him to bend, even a little, just to show affection (let alone apology), the way he can accept help from strangers (although it doesn't come naturally, more like it's recognized necessity), the way he doesn't back down, even when he's not sure what he's up against. The kids are perfect - my God, but baby Sam made me smile with all his cuddle-worthy babiness, and Dean. Dean was heartbreaking. He's a resilient kid, thank God, but that sure as hell doesn't mean it was EASY for him. My heart was in my throat when Sammy was missing - and then, when John "sees" future Sam and Dean . . . yeah. And then how you borught everything together . . . Jaw on the floor. Fantatic, wonderful, amamzing storytelling. Bravo!
Thank you so much for the lovely feedback :)
It was my original intention with this to write an episode-styled/structured hunting fic... only set way back when. It kind of developed into a different beast entirely, when I was forced to think about *who* John would have been back then, what i'd have to do and show to keep him in character... and yep. seems like it came together alright :D
I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you :D
It was my original intention with this to write an episode-styled/structured hunting fic... only set way back when. It kind of developed into a different beast entirely, when I was forced to think about *who* John would have been back then, what i'd have to do and show to keep him in character... and yep. seems like it came together alright :D
I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you :D
This was amazing. I loved how you had John interacting with yound Sam and Dean, and the way he explained the woman as a memory the road remembers was beautiful.
This was a truly gorgeous fic. I really love how you portray John. I often see him portrayed as this hardened and uncaring man, but he truly loves his sons. It's just that their circumstances aren't the same as your normal everyday family. You captured him perfectly. Something in between the happy, carefree father we saw in the pilot and the calculating hunter we saw in later episodes. I love how you portray baby!Sam and young!Dean, too. From the baby mannerisms to Dean's protective streak, they are very much in character while still true to their ages. Great job.
I have to say, though, that I love how you brought future Dean and Sam into the story, especially having Sam turn when John yells and look right at him later.
This was well-planned out and creepy and a lot of fun to read. :)
I have to say, though, that I love how you brought future Dean and Sam into the story, especially having Sam turn when John yells and look right at him later.
This was well-planned out and creepy and a lot of fun to read. :)
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