Claire: DEWEEEEEES
Hope: ... he and bbburn should start a family
Claire: That would pretty much be so perfect the whole world would spontaneously fart glitter
Hope: A mirrorball would drop somewhere in cardiff...
Claire: And then Jack would fire Ianto, because that thing is only supposed to come down when he's being fabulous.
Hope: Then Jack would beg for Ianto to come back because Jack couldn't find his pants. not because Ianto took them, but because Jack is so used to having a PA at that point that he doesn't think he needs to *know* where his pants are. Not that he doesn't mind not having pants, but it makes Myfanwy irritable.
Claire: And Owen upset, because the last time he saw that many tentacles it was in his girlfriends brain.
Hope: I thought owen was off touring seedy nightclubs with dewees? Or does his torchwood sense tingle no matter whether jack's pants are off in his vicinity or not?
Claire: Well, hobviously Jack couldnt find Ianto right away, he doesn't know how to work a phone ( and Ianto, in a burst of stoic welsh annoyance at being fired, hid Jack's earpiece), so when Owen got back Jack was still wandering round wearing no pants, and sporadically grabbing his earlobe and saying "YANTO? GWEN? TOSH? HELLO TEAM HEAR MY VOICE" He was also eating coffee beans straight from the packet, because he thought they were coco pops.

( More scintillating conversations )

ETA: OH, GMAIL TARGETTED ADVERTISING! ( ads from the above email conversation w Claire )